HOW I MADE IT THROUGH THE HARDEST SEASON OF MY LIFE
I wrote the song HOLD ON during one of the hardest seasons of my life. Not only was 2020 challenging for the world at large, but every one of us was impacted on a different level. We all experienced uncertainty, sudden change, loss, and grief. Allow me to share my experience with you and how the Lord has carried me through it.
I’ve been a worship leader, pastor, songwriter, and artist for over a decade now. I spent most of my 20s helping to build a local church, growing as a young writer, and pioneering a thriving worship ministry. My journey has been so special and I am thankful for how God has graciously guided me through it and expanded my territory. From the outside looking in all of this sounds amazing (and it truly has been) yet simultaneously I was fighting battles and struggling at certain times along the way.
In 2020, when everything went crazy with the world…I found myself in a scary place. I was battling anxiety, fear, and depression. This was especially hard for me to admit because these are things that I sing about overcoming in my songs. Suddenly, the responsibility of leading others caused intense pressure that I could not bear. Yet, there I was struggling with all of the uncertainty that had suddenly overshadowed the world.
During the year, I began to endure losses, setbacks, and grief like I had never experienced before. I lost 3 family members and one close friend. I caught covid and though it was mild (thank the Lord) there were a lot of health issues that started to surface after I had recovered. I transitioned out of the church job I held for 9 years, sold my dream home, and relocated to a new town. It was so much change all at once. Everything that was happening felt like an overload to me and it wasn’t long before my body began reacting. I started experiencing panic attacks and anxiety. It was during this time that I felt alone and began to cry out to the Lord in my distress. I was reminded of the power of lamenting and how healthy it is to do so.
You see, when we read through the book of Psalms, we get an accurate picture of what worship truly looks like. It’s not just the mountaintop experiences that shape our praise and worship; it’s also learning how to worship God in the valley. I know that I felt like I was in an endless valley. When your vision becomes consumed by everything that is going wrong you recognize how much you need the Lord to bring you through the fire. I share all of this because I want to give you a backdrop for why the song HOLD ON was written. I needed God to remind me of what He was saying in my time of need. I needed Him to comfort and affirm me. The verses of the song are my plea and prayer for His help. Letting Him know that even when I’m walking through the valley, I’m still looking to the hills and I am counting on Him.
The chorus of the song is the Lord’s response. It’s a reassurance of His kindness and gentleness reminding me, “Corey, all you have to do is hold on. You ARE going to make it through this hard time. I’ve got you. Trust Me.” When the whole world seems like it’s spinning out of control, it remains true that our God is not shaken. He is faithful to the very end…and beyond.
As I am writing this, I am reminded of just how faithful the Lord is. During a trying time, He has led me to a place of healing and confidence. He is restoring my hope with a new beginning. I’ve been able to take my prayers, laments, and triumphs and write them into songs that I can’t wait to share with the world.
It is my prayer that this song HOLD ON encourages and strengthens those who feel like they’re walking through the hardest time of their lives. It’s for anyone desperate for hope. It’s your anthem from the Lord letting you know that you are going to make it through. Everything is going to be okay and a new beginning is on the way.
